This is perhaps the funniest, most creative idea I have seen in a while. Check it out: David on Demand. It is about this guy, David Perez. All he wanted to do is go to the Advertising Festival in Cannes. Leo Burnett, the 9th largest advertising company in the world agreed to send him only on ONE CONDITION. He has to do anything you tell him. When I mean anything, he really means anything.
This is a tattoo someone tweeted him to get. It is the amazing fail whale that we all have been seeing more and more lately. He also added two random twitter users name that tweeted to get their name on there. That is pretty fucking intense. Not just intense but, pretty fucking intense. This guy has seriously gone above and beyond to go here. What is also amazing is we get to watch every bit of it here David on Demand. Truly amazing. If you follow me on twitter, you will notice I have been tweeting a lot to him and yes, he has done most of it including giving a shout out to my forum, The Best Forum Ever! So, I definitely suggest you check this out and give him a tweet. Don’t be upset if he doesn’t do it right away. A ton of people are doing it as well, so you might have to tweet it a few times, but eventually he will do it or a variation of it. This guy has taken twitter and social media to a new level!
As for me, I am going to continue watching him and see if he will tattoo Fat Tony69 and TheBestForumEver.com on him and if not, continue making himself look funny in Cannes. Check him out: David on Demand!
A game played in the car. When a car is seen with a headlight out, someone will hit the ceiling of the car with their hand and yell “p’diddle!” and everyone else must follow suit. The last person to do so must take off an article of clothing.
Back in the day, I wrote a small paragraph for class. As you can tell, I wrote this paper in the wee hours of the morning and didn’t realize what I was writing. Unfortunately, what happened was my spell check never picked up my mistake because technically, it isn’t spelled wrong. Anyway, feel free to laugh at my misfortune. So you know, I received a 100 on the paragraph and my teacher decided to inform the whole school and all the teachers about this. Forever, I shall be remembered by genetically modified orgasms.
I believe that genetically modified orgasms should be used in our food. It provides many positive effects for people today. Such as in corn, it provides resistance from insects. This will allow crops to flourish and crow without any problem what so ever. Strawberries act as an antifreeze that allows them not to be ruined by the cold. Both were done using genetically modified orgasms. Genetically modified orgasms allow plants to grow more, quicker, in bulk, and can provide more nutrition that the actual plants could have not. Due to genetically modified orgasms, vitamin A is now provided in rice which allows people who do not receive, shall get it without having to change their diet or anything. These are a few examples of how genetically modified orgasms help ourselves by only modifying our food.
One of my goals for my blog was to blog every day, which I haven’t, but I am improving! Another one was to not care what the blogosphere is saying. For those who don’t know the blogosphere, it is basically the world of blogs and their voice. They tend to blog all about the same thing, but expressing their own opinion. This is always about something major happening whether it is an earthquake, a breakthrough in like the world on terrorism, or something big happening in the world. In this case, it is the iPhone 4 and their iOS4. That is what I am here to talk about because I thought it is very important.
I want the iPhone 4. That is all.
This blog post is done.
Why are you still reading this shit?
Seriously!
Leave!
Fine, I will talk about it.
All of that above doesn’t work on a blog because you can skip down and all you are thinking is what a fucking moron this guy is…does he think we are that big of an idiot? Doesn’t he know anything? Well, I don’t!
Today, Steve Jobs released his new baby. What isn’t surprising is a lot of the features because most were speculated to happen. We all knew what the hell the iPhone was going to look like because we don’t live under a rock (and for those who do, now you do know what it looks like). I have been reading tech blogs all day to see what the hell everyone was talking about. It truly looks better in every which way, except the camera. The camera is 5 megapixels compared to the Droid Incredible which has 8 megapixels. ZING!
There are over 100 new features, but the main ones are:
FaceTime, an app for video calls that can use either the front-facing camera or the back-facing camera (WiFi only).
The screen uses technology Apple calls a Retina Display, which has 326 pixels per inch. That’s four times the number of pixels in the iPhone 3GS, Jobs said. “People haven’t even dreamt of a display like this. Once you use a Retina Display, you can’t go back.”
The processor is an Apple A4, a small chip that is optimized for power management. This helps the phone get improved battery life: 7 hours of 3G talk, 6 hours of 3G browsing, 10 hours of WiFi browsing, 10 hours of video, 40 hours of music, 300 hours of standby time.
A 3-axis gyroscopce for mobile gaming — Jobs played a new Jenga-like game to demonstrate this.
A 5-megapixel camera with digital zoom and a backside illuminated sensor, to improve lighting for photos.
HD video camera that records 720p at 30 frames per second, with a built-in video editor.
New operating system: iOS 4. One word, Apple fans: Multitasking. OK, a few more words: folder support, threaded mail, unified inbox and more. iPhone 3G and 3GS users can upgrade on June 21.
iBooks: Apple’s eBook app is coming to the iPhone. Watch out, Kindle.
iAds, a new in-app advertising platform.
What does that mean to me?
Well, to be honest, I am annoyed! I have the iPhone 3G. Luckily, I have the unlimited data plan (which they got rid of about a week or so ago), so I am not going ape shit over that. Unfortunately, I don’t get all the features from iOS4 because I have the 3G. That means I have to upgrade or everyone is going to laugh at me for having the 3G. I can’t have old technology because that would be total bullshit. My computer is already behind without 16 Gigs of Ram and no i7 processor. I can’t let me phone be behind too! So, I have to upgrade.
Well, I don’t know when my upgrade freaking is! They supposedly changed it so everyone can basically upgrade unless you were a dumbass and bought a new iPhone 3GS recently…which if you did, just jump off a cliff because you didn’t know the iPhone 4 was coming out. To check if you have an upgrade, go through AT&T. If you have an iPhone, DIAL: *639# I been doing it all day and it says it’s unavailable, but if you get lucky, you might get a golden ticket saying you got an upgrade or saying you are a freaking loser. Although, by upgrading, your contract is extended for 2 years. So, if it is your dream to get the mystical and mythical Verizon iPhone, you might want to try and score a cheap iPhone 4 without the contract. Unlucky for you, it costs like a billion dollars without contract!
Now, I have read a ton of tech blogs and the only thing I have learned that compared to the 3GS, it is 2 grams heavier, which means I am going to get annoyed since my pants already sag from phone and it being heavier isn’t going to help. Also, it doesn’t use a sim card, but actually a micro-sim which means BACK UP YOUR SHIT NOW BEFORE YOU UPGRADE SO YOU DON’T LOSE ANYTHING!
Engadget said when using the device:
As we said, it’s shockingly thin.
The screen is truly outrageous — you basically cannot see pixels on it. We’re not being hyperbolic when we say it’s easily the best looking mobile phone screen we’ve ever laid eyes on.
The build quality is really solid. The home button feels much snappier, and on the whole it just feels like a tightly-packed device, but it’s not heavy.
The side buttons are really nice and clicky.
iOS 4 is very familiar — there’s not a lot added to fit and finish.
The general speed of the whole OS is way snappier. The camera app in particular is noticeably faster — shots get snapped in an instant.
That is more reason to buy it! Plus they use better freaking parts so your screen is stronger and so is the body!
My question is will it beat out the EVO which is a tank of a phone, or will it just fall behind and get owned.
Also, I thought I would mention some things that have pissed me off:
3GS people who got their phone at launch get upgrade prices, while 3G people who got their phone beforehand don’t.
It costs $599 if I don’t have my upgrade which is a shit load of money.
iMovie costs $5! Full of bullshit!
3G doesn’t get multi-tasking means I HAVE to UPGRADE!
Tethering is only available for those who upgrade their plan which is capped…so that means I am not tethering because I do not want to lose my unlimited data plan and get fucked over when I exceed it.
Maclife said: “Fingerprints on both sides, sigh.”
Apple did do something right, they created their own case so I don’t have to have these third party fuck-ups create it.
With that, I will leave you with this fail by Apple and Steve Jobs:
It’s been almost two weeks (probably 2 weeks since it took me days to write this with friends stopping by and such) since I wrote a blog post and I feel like shit for lying to you guys (guy…anyone). Either way, a ton of stuff hit me in the face like a freaking brick. Let’s put it this way, I had no free time and when I did, I slept. Anyway, everything calmed down. See, the end of May, gets freaking crazy because of the summer is right around the corner. Schools get out left and right which mean my friends and I start to reunite for the summer. We tend to get crazy…truly crazy, which is what happened. So, with me taking care of classes, I had to finish that up. After, I had parties to attend and hanging out to do. That is what has been occupying my time. Also, I had friends staying over which gets a tad bit ridiculous.
So, while I pass the time by hanging out with my friends, Memorial Day weekend was coming up rapidly and I had two things on my mind: partying and djing. Now, before I continue, let me say that I will discuss about the DJing in another post. It is something ridiculous that I want to try, but actually succeed in because it’s so expensive. Either way, Memorial Day weekend is crazy. I assume it is like this everywhere, but I know for a fact that. I am just going to try to keep up with blogging the best I can, but lately it’s hard. Maybe I will blog week days only. I need to figure this out.
Normally I am against reading books for the fact that they are ridiculously boring, but for some reason I actually bought two books. The first one that I actually read was The Alphabet of Manliness (Expanded Edition) by the infamous Maddox. Now if you are blind, deaf, and stupid, you won’t know know the hell Maddox is, but if you are even 1% smart, you would know that Maddox is the the pirate behind The Best Page in the Universe. I am just going to assume know you are blind, deaf, and stupid, so I will explain this to you very slowly. Maddox started his bullshit in the year of 1997. Since then, he has been spreading his shit. Well, people actually decided to read it for some damn reason or another and he has become so big. I will be the first one to admit that I am a huge fan of his. Anyway, as I was in the book store, I just so happened to browse over this book and seeing the name Maddox, I creamed my pants.
Well, I had to buy this this book. I already ruined my pants, so I might as well spend my money on his college dropout ass. Right away, I was taken back by the illustrations because they were so damn funny. Well, the book to sum it up quite a bit puts hair on your eyeballs. It allows you to drink hot sauce from the bottle. To tell you the truth, this is the first book that I have actually read in about two years. This book will either be loved or hated by you. Luckily, I had time on my hands because a fever decided to beat me senseless until it left me in my bed for me to do nothing, but read this book, but I do not regret it one bit.
From the very beginning, at the dedication–”to the love of my life, my soul mate, and the greatest person in the world: me”, you will think he is the most egotistical, narcissistic asshole ever. When he calls a woman a “bitch” on page 2, you will think he is the biggest sexist prick there is. By now, you might burn the book and piss on the ashes, but if you make it further, you will realize the type of person Maddox truly is (if you don’t know who he is and in which case you better learn your shit). Quite possibly the funniest book I have ever read…until the next one.
The Alphabet of Manliness (Expanded Edition) is not a story. Sure there are some brief parts where Maddox talks about his life, but the whole book is about thirty or so essays. Of course, each letter of the alphabet (in order) and then some numbers. Some of the things he talks about includes Chuck Norris, Theodore Roosevelt, Road Rage, the number 616, and a plethora of other manly stuff that makes your balls drop. Some of the things he actually talked about made me laugh so hard, I had to re-read the shit he wrote to actually see if he wrote that…he did. What he doesn’t do is hold back from what he says when he talks.
Basically, like I have said before, I like this book a lot. According to Maddox, “men don’t love anything. At best, there are varying degrees of “like,” and even then, men don’t like anything that much.” I felt hair grow out of my eyes and now I need to shave them daily because of everything I read. I could not put this book down and I definitely recommend it. If you have a shitty sense of humor or just a plain pussy, you will hate this book, but give it a try. If you hate it, you gave your money to someone who should have it more (since you don’t…pussies don’t deserve money) or you will like it a lot and realize how shitty your life is and quickly have an epiphany. Maybe now you will stop being a bitch. I couldn’t stop laughing from all of this and if you do love this The Alphabet of Manliness (Expanded Edition), be sure to check out his blog: The Best Page in the Universe. Definitely buy his book! I sure as hell did.
Lately, my blog posts suck ass. I am amazing at life and funny as hell in person, but I am sucking a ton of sphincter when it comes to this whole blogging thing. Anyway, you should continue reading because I will get a handle on this shit. I just need to learn how to transfer my bullshit from in person to this whole blog. Anyway, time to quickly fill you in on my life because I could not really think of anything else to post. This shall be brief so you don’t commit suicide by smashing your head on your keyboard and dropping the computer on your head.
Let’s see…
I got my computer back from HP. It only cost me a shit ton of money since my warranty expired by a half of year. At least I got a new motherboard, battery port, and screen!
I actually read a book. I actually finished it. I actually read every single word in it. I shall review it later.
I am not sick with failure.
Besides that, I have my computer back which means I can start working on clients’ sites.
Last night before I went to bed, I found myself thinking of ideas of being an asshole, but without doing it blatantly. Why would I do such a thing? I wouldn’t, but it was one of those ideas I wish I had the balls to do. The problem is, it deals with fast food. If you know me, I do not eat fast food at all. The only time I would ever go to a fast food joint is with friends where I would order only a water or on St. Patrick’s Day to McDonald’s to order a Shamrock Shake. Anyway, I really took the time to think this through and if you do decide to do this, please post about your experience here!
First, take your wallet. Any wallet would work, but preferably your wallet. Put a limited amount of money in there. If you need gas for your car, put gas money plus about $10. Nothing more than $10. If you have more, this will not work, especially if the girl you are out with sees this. If you want to be daring, have bring $5. This will ensure just enough money to buy the meal and that’s it. I will explain that later. Now, that you filled your wallet up with $5 or $10, continue to put coupons, paper, newspaper clippings, coupon cards, and anything else that has no monetary value as shown in this illustration.
You need to ask a girl out. To do this, there are many different methods to go about doing this, but do what ever works for you. If you need to be a player or romantic, do whatever work you need to allow a date to ensue. For this experiment, you need a girl who you are not quite a fan of or has a huge sense of humor. You can’t allow her to know anything about this date. It should look 100% legitimate. If you get her as well as yourself to dress up, more lulz shall happen for you.
Did you know you can get the double cheese burger with fries and a drink from the dollar menu and you have an entire meal for $3? Remember how I said you need only $5, well this is what I am going to have you do. You are now going to tell this female you found that you are going to take her out to dinner. Tell her it is going to be a delightful dinner and it shall be extremely romantic like a Disney movie.
Now, this step is optional. You don’t need to do this what-so-ever, but this can make for better lulz. You need to research the McDonald’s around your house. You can find the nicest looking McDonald’s or the crappiest looking McDonald’s by your house. They are so common, so I don’t doubt this will be an issue. You can wing this and just go to the closest one, but it is up to you.
Now, this is the epicness we have been waiting for. It’s time for the date. You have gotten all dressed up. You pick her up. You make crappy chit chat with her in the car. Perhaps you tell her how nice she looks, how good she smells, how she is pretty. Now drive into that McDonald’s. Tell her, you think this is defines who you are as a person. If she refuses, tell her children in Africa wish they had McDonald’s as we know children in China get this delicacy. Once in, tell her to find a table and you want to order for her to be romantic. Like I said about the dollar meal, order it – a McChicken or McDouble, small fries, and a small drink. Bring it to her and split it with her saying this is extremely romantic. As you are eating, ask if she has seen or even heard of the movie, Lady and the Tramp. Rekindle the scene where Lady and the Tramp are eating spaghetti together. Then tell her, that they ate better food in a better place as dogs then we are now. Watch her reaction.
Airplanes (Part 1) by B.O.B featuring Hayley Williams
[Chorus Hayley Williams]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)
[Verse 1 B.o.B]
Yeah
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partyin and smashin and crashin
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
And when youre staring at that phone in your lap
And you hoping but them people never call you back
But thats just how the story unfolds
You get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel
And they sayin what would you wish for
If you had one chance
So airplane airplane sorry Im late
Im on my way so dont close that gate
If I dont make that then Ill switch my flight
And Ill be right back at it by the end of the night
[Chorus Hayley Williams]
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now) (wish right now)
[Verse 2 B.o.B]
Somebody take me back to the days
Before this was a job, before I got paid
Before it ever mattered what I had in my bank
Yeah back when I was tryin to get into the subway
And back when I was rappin for the hell of it
But now a days we rappin to stay relevant
Im guessin that if we can make some wishes outta airplanes
Then maybe yo maybe Ill go back to the days
Before the politics that we call the rap game
And back when aint nobody listened to my mix tape
And back before I tried to cover up my slang
But this is for the Cada, whats up Bobby Ray
So can I get a wish to end the politics
And get back to the music that started this shit
So here I stand and then again I say
Im hopin we can make some wishes outta airplanes?
Wikipedia summarizes B.O.B as:
Bobby Ray Simmons (born November 15, 1988), also known as Bobby Ray, or B.o.B, is an American rapper, singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and record producer. He is currently signed under the labels of Grand Hustle and Atlantic Records.
Hayley Williams is the lead singer of Paramore.
The reason I like this song is because first of all, I am a huge fan of B.O.B. He is truly an amazing artist as he does everything from write and rap his own songs, but also can play instruments. He can nearly, if not do it all. The song hits down to me as it speaks as it says Can I have a wish right now? I ask that a lot sometimes, but even through the tough times, we need to persevere and that is what I do.
I am a huge fan of music lately because I would like to DJ a bit. So, with this passion, I have been listening to a lot of Top 40, Hip-Hop, and all of the such. Today’s music is two songs. I wasn’t able to choose more than one because I am a huge fan of each song in their own rights. Anyway, for these Music Mondays, I will try to do the following: post music, a youtube video of the song, lyrics, about the artist from Wikipedia, and why I like the song. Anyway, I will introduce the first song:
Memories by David Guetta Featuring Kid Cudi
all the crazy shit I did tonight
those will be the best memories
I just wanna let it go for the night
that would be the best
therapy for me
all the crazy shit I did
tonight
those will be the best memories
I just wanna let it go for the night
that would be the best
therapy for me
It’s getting late but I don’t mind
It’s getting late but I don’t mind
It’s getting late but I don’t mind
It’s getting late but I don’t mind
It’s getting late but I don’t mind
It’s getting late but I don’t mind
It’s getting late but I don’t mind
It’s getting late but I don’t mind
Wikipedia summarizes David Guetta as the following:
David Guetta is a French house producer and DJ. Originally a DJ at nightclubs during the 1980s and 1990s, he co-founded label Gum Productions and released his first album, Just a Little More Love, in 2001. Later, he released Guetta Blaster (2004) and Pop Life (2007). His 2009 album One Love included the hits singles “When Love Takes Over” (featuring Kelly Rowland), and “Sexy Bitch” (featuring Akon), the latter becoming a top five hit in the US. He has worked with a variety of pop artists including Britney Spears, Akon, Chris Willis, Kelly Rowland, Lil’ Wayne, Kelis, Madonna, Kid Cudi, Estelle, Fergie, Amy Palmer, K’naan and will.i.am. He is also currently working with Shakira and Akon.
The reason I like this song is because it basically describes me. I do some crazy stuff sometimes and anyone who knows me, knows that I recount these stories constantly. No matter where I am whether it is a small play or a crazy party that I helped throw, I have tons of stories. I tend to live life to the fullest and I do things that are quite spontaneous and not conservative. With this, I have memories from all the things I did tonight.
Look out for my next Music Monday (which is in a couple of minutes since I couldn’t choose between the two) and the one next week!
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