Last night before I went to bed, I found myself thinking of ideas of being an asshole, but without doing it blatantly. Why would I do such a thing? I wouldn’t, but it was one of those ideas I wish I had the balls to do. The problem is, it deals with fast food. If you know me, I do not eat fast food at all. The only time I would ever go to a fast food joint is with friends where I would order only a water or on St. Patrick’s Day to McDonald’s to order a Shamrock Shake.  Anyway, I really took the time to think this through and if you do decide to do this, please post about your experience here!

1. First, take your wallet. Any wallet would work, but preferably your wallet. Put a limited amount of money in there. If you need gas for your car, put gas money plus about $10. Nothing more than $10. If you have more, this will not work, especially if the girl you are out with sees this. If you want to be daring, have bring $5.  This will ensure just enough money to buy the meal and that’s it. I will explain that later. Now, that you filled your wallet up with $5 or $10,  continue to put coupons, paper, newspaper clippings, coupon cards, and anything else that has no monetary value as shown in this illustration.
2. You need to ask a girl out. To do this, there are many different methods to go about doing this, but do what ever works for you. If you need to be a player or romantic, do whatever work you need to allow a date to ensue. For this experiment,  you need a girl who you are not quite a fan of or has a huge sense of humor. You can’t allow her to know anything about this date. It should look 100% legitimate.  If you get her as well as yourself to dress up, more lulz shall happen for you.
3. Did you know you can get the double cheese burger with fries and a drink from the dollar menu and you have an entire meal for $3? Remember how I said you need only $5, well this is what I am going to have you do. You are now going to tell this female you found that you are going to take her out to dinner. Tell her it is going to be a delightful dinner and it shall be extremely romantic like a Disney movie.
4. Now, this step is optional. You don’t need to do this what-so-ever, but this can make for better lulz. You need to research the McDonald’s around your house. You can find the nicest looking McDonald’s or the crappiest looking McDonald’s by your house. They are so common, so I don’t doubt this will be an issue. You can wing this and just go to the closest one, but it is up to you.
5. Now, this is the epicness we have been waiting for. It’s time for the date. You have gotten all dressed up. You pick her up. You make crappy chit chat with her in the car. Perhaps you tell her how nice she looks, how good she smells, how she is pretty. Now drive into that McDonald’s. Tell her, you think this is defines who you are as a person. If she refuses, tell her children in Africa wish they had McDonald’s as we know children in China get this delicacy.  Once in, tell her to find a table and you want to order for her to be romantic. Like I said about the dollar meal, order it – a McChicken or McDouble, small fries, and a small drink. Bring it to her and split it with her saying this is extremely romantic. As you are eating, ask if she has seen or even heard of the movie, Lady and the Tramp. Rekindle the scene where Lady and the Tramp are eating spaghetti together. Then tell her, that they ate better food in a better place as dogs then we are now. Watch her reaction.